Mick Shanley

Lion

Mick Shanley — Thu, 22 Oct 2026 16:27:24 -0400

A man walking to a tobacconist stopped short of a lion.

Backing away, he slipped off the curb and was crushed by a truck.

The Restructure

Mick Shanley — Fri, 11 Sep 2026 17:29:25 -0400

Most of the rocks are moved from here to there. Movement is more important than placement.

Yellow labels on the rocks are replaced with blue labels. Yellow labels are kept for reuse. Stragglers are thrown over the fence.

The rocks tremble. Mindy plows on.

Despot

Mick Shanley — Tue, 01 Sep 2026 16:12:05 -0400

Position: Senior Director of Passenger Compliance

Status: Open.
Location: Flexible.
Reports To: Gwynn Flimsy, VP of Transport Strategy and Positivity.
Salary: Paid incentive based on the successful elimination of “Energy Vampires.”

About the Role

We are seeking someone with a robust sense of personal significance and a temperament both fragile and positive.

Key Responsibilities

Fleet Realignment: Throwing low-morale passengers from the bus.
Infallibility: Your wrong is our right.
Initiative: Subject to prior approval.

Required Qualifications

TBD.

What We Offer

Well-being
Learning
Purpose
Autonomy
Biometric Monitoring
Inclusivity
Exclusivity

How to Apply

Please submit your résumé along with a 500-word essay on buses, vampires and infallibility.

There are no wrong answers. There is a wrong answer.

The Mouse

Mick Shanley — Tue, 01 Sep 2026 13:16:58 -0400

Gwynn Flimsy glides through the corridors in her carriage, waving to the cheering and wailing.

She is a shrewd Bad Decision Collector.

Her most precious: Mindy Malarkey, a Senior Director who spends her days pinching ideas and gathering dirty laundry. Managing Malarkey is a panic room with a gift basket.

The arrangement works perfectly until Malarkey forgets herself.

“Don’t worry about Gwynn,” Malarkey tells the room. “She’s a mouse.”

Flimsy quietly asks if anyone has a bucket of sand.

Just deep enough for a human head.

In Stride

Mick Shanley — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 19:44:57 -0400

Walking down dusty Angel St., a man hears “I can fly, I can fly.” He walks on. Sirens. Thud.

Photo Sheep

Mick Shanley — Fri, 28 Aug 2026 20:31:58 -0400

I lost my armor. But today brought a stranger to the meadow.

It watched me. I felt naked. I am naked.

It climbed over the fence. My chest thudded.

A box covered its face, aimed at me. Beeps and clicks turned every head. Was it calling for me? Was I next?

I left the flock. I startled the stranger.

Shaking off an itch, I heard rapid beeps and clicks. I stopped. They stopped. I shook again, more vigorously. They resumed. The stranger inched closer and turned the box tall to short to tall to short…

As dusk faded, the stranger walked to its metal box and left.

Alive, I snuck back into the flock. Unnoticed.

The stranger returned at dawn with a three-legged thing, some bags and the box around its neck.

I stared at the stranger staring back at me.

Circling. Hunting. Adjusting. The stranger stopped and aimed. Beeps only. Disappointing. Why no clicks to finish the beat?

I nonchalantly approached the scattered litter and the clicking.

I shivered and stopped short.

I stretched my back right leg out westward. In a blink, the rapid beeps and clicks resumed. I put my leg down and repeated with the left. The stranger began hunting again. The beat returned.

I almost toppled over as I turned only my head to follow the stranger. My leg, half asleep, regained its composure. The beat stopped. Move, beep, mostly click, except for the beginning. I must remember.

Dusk. The stranger left.

Dawn. The stranger arrived early.

I moved more smoothly toward him. He simply sat and watched.

He circled me then lay down. Beeps and clicks. He rolled onto his back. He even climbed a dead tree and clicked from there. Why was he so excited? Why was I?

Yesterday the legs provided the beat, so I stayed with them. I hopped my front legs. Nothing. He stood there staring at me. I waited. Nothing. I hopped again. Movement. Clicks. And a cackling sound, sort of like the one I make. I showed more face. More leg.

Closer. Comfortable. The beeps and clicks faded. He didn’t look away.

I squeezed sounds from every end and bucked.

I gathered myself early hoping he would arrive at dawn. He arrived before I finished my breakfast. He lobbed his bags and rods and himself over the fence. The flock’s ears barely flapped.

With a beating chest I ran toward him. I whipped east before I crashed into him, meaning to circle again — but stopped eye to eye.

I went for the clincher I’d practiced all night. The left back leg shot west, the right east and both front toward him. A tricky landing. No beeps, no clicks. Disappointment?

I looked at his eyes, wider than I remembered. He sat down squarely on a patty and waited. I repeated the display. Beeps, clicks and cackling. A pleasure matched only by food and the mating season.

I caught an unusual smell — nothing like the flock, nothing like the patty. I moved closer.

He was sitting. Watching. I lay beside him, slowly. He held a long yellow thing to my mouth. I bit, I spat. He crumpled and cackled. I wish I had more things to spit. Friends?

He patted my head. I felt the warmth. I rolled onto my back. He rubbed my belly.

We stared at nothing, enjoying everything. The sun was high when my friend packed up and left. I returned to the flock feeling brand new.

Dawn came and went. I was restless. The sun started to drop when my friend arrived. He scaled the fence — no bags, no box, no three-legged thing. I approached. He greeted me with an extended arm and I pressed against it.

We sat in the shade, watching the flock. He ate. I ate.

I felt his head on my shoulder. Too brief. He rose, jumped the fence and left.

I stayed there for many hours wondering. My belly grumbled for longer than was prudent. I headed back to the flock.

The days passed without him. The weather changed.

Over the fence, a large box stopped. On the side a creature shot its back legs west and east. Both front toward me.

Leaning on the fence, a stranger with a small box covering its face extended an arm. A feeling of warmth, like when I still had my armor. I threw a leg westward.

The stranger cackled.

I turned and walked back to my flock.

Kudos to Lying

Mick Shanley — Fri, 05 Jul 2024 15:41:41 -0400

From: Penny
Sent: Monday
To: Everyone
Subject: I can’t do it.

I’m covering @susan for a few days but I’m stuck because @susan left too little information.

From: Penny
Sent: Monday
To: Everyone
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

I’ve managed to find someone else to help. Thanks, @deirdre!!!

From: Yola
Sent: Monday
To: Everyone
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

I’m escalating this problem to the highest possible elevation point.

From: Susan
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

The “problem” was solved very quickly. @deirdre is the backup to the backup.

From: Yola
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

Thank you @susan. Please set up a meeting to discuss the things I don’t understand.

From: Mindy
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

Kudos @yola. I’m adding @carol due to this massive problem’s impacts.

From: Susan
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

What was the massive problem?

From: Mindy
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

Informations not available for business decisions is a big problem.

From: Susan
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

The “Informations” was available. What was the problem?

From: Mindy
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

Please work with superiors to keep the fridge stocked with bananas.

From: Susan
Sent: Wednesday
To: Everyone
Cc: Carol
Subject: RE: I can’t do it.

Bananas?

Linguistic Malarkey

Mick Shanley — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 13:28:12 -0400

The New Year address:

There is a project to enhance education material and chances for the team to obtain CEU’s when applicable. Detail information will be provided as soon as the status per area is received.

And:

The [vendor] training was completed for the [teams]. The [vendor] is now dedicating resources to assist with our business needs. I encourage your attendance when needed since this has a direct impact to your related functions.

Without the stuffing.

We’ll be improving our education materials and offering CEUs.

And:

[Vendor] training is complete. Further help is available as needed.

These resources will assist you Rockstars synergize your education to actionables which, along with the aforementioned resources stated previously, increase productivity and raise the bottom line.

Now we’re getting somewhere.

With a clear focus on strategic resource management and aggressive education, we meet departmental needs with actionables and synergy while raising the bottom line.

Improvement becomes clear when synergy has evolved from seed to bloom. In other words, worker harder for your flowers.

OK.

When we worker together, we achieve more and blossom.

As we improve our interfeces (or more accurately, “interfication”), our tolerance for other people is enhanced.

Hmm.

Improved interfeces enhances tolerance.

Resourcefulness, education, improved likability…are actionable and mandatory.

Likability enables actionability.

Remember: Synergy is the bedrock of integrity. Communication sits comfortably on top.

Thanks!

Mindy Malarkey
MBA, CPHIM, CFHP, CPHRM, CHC, Band Member

What?

Remember: Synergy is the bedrock of integrity. Communication sits comfortibly on pot.

…

Hire the Liar

Mick Shanley — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 13:44:22 -0400

The Company procures employees who elevate the person who hires them.

Two finalists:

Number 1: Threatening competence. Disqualified.

Number 2: A current employee. Unqualified.

The lie: “I created a database application saving hundreds of hours of labor per month.”

The dilemma: One of the interviewers, sitting three feet from the candidate, created the application.

Mindy handles the indiscretion. She silences the interviewers until Number 2 withdraws the lie from their résumé.

Mindy hires the Number 2.

The Club

Mick Shanley — Wed, 05 Oct 2022 16:20:06 -0400

Mindy likes to play games. Not normal games like chess, poker or tiddlywinks, but mind games.

First. Create a club of Kudos-dependent ass-kissers. There is no second. She excludes the heretics from meetings and lunches. Includes the damned.

It’s a club nobody wants to join. A club that doesn’t exist.

Membership isn’t voluntary. Everyone knows when to smile.

Drink heavily. Assign blame.

Babies Are Unprofessional

Mick Shanley — Wed, 18 May 2022 12:24:48 -0400

During a video conference, Mindy Malarkey offers some wisdom: showing babies on camera is very unprofessional.

Obviously. Babies are disgusting. No sane person should be subjected to images of them while held captive.

Enter a Chihuahua.

Her baby.